time for reflection again!

Fabulous! Its the week before christmas and the blogging bug has bitten me again! Well, it is the end of the year and yet again a time of change and a time to assess one's life! And a time to write about it...

Does writing in once a year qualify you as a blogger? Urm, probably not unless you take the view of the millenia and the passing of a year as just one run around the sun. So at some macro level I qualify, I guess!

Benchmarks, turning points, significant birthdays like approaching another decade completed mark - all qualify in life to make new decisions and take a re-look at life! Thanks to the metric system we count our life's journey and achievements in multiples of 10!

When the kids have left the nest one definitely needs to re-purpose life! Not quite in the boat of Eat, Pray, Love! but the question is that does re-aligning your mental space always need a complete abandonment of the physical reality and a trip to Indian hallowed grounds to invoke the inner Goddess and to Bali beaches to invoke other energies? Can it not be done from the 'stuck in the same routine' and comfort zone of daily grind, within the purposeful meaning of sustaining the daily bread and butter or rice and daal if you wish! Or does this constitute a meaningless purpose if it remains the sole Raison d'être since it could be your dog instead of you living that same life. Not that I would mind being my dog! Whoever coined the phrase 'it's a dog's life' didn't probably mean it as the best life one could have... little do they know!

Glancing over my old blogs, I found that I am ok to write with CAPITALS in this new entry! Punctuation has re-entered my life. Sentences now begin with a Capital letter after the full stop! Actually, as I began writing, it was not capitalized. And then somewhere in para 3, the capitals crept in. Before I knew it, I had gone and corrected the earlier paras. Before I know, there will be even more Capitals to emphasize Important Phrases and Purposes that will direct the confused mind to capture the essential and relevant message in One Glance!

myword, (not capitalized), is really the rambling when one is of a confused state of mind and in the moments it is looking for new direction. I do envy those who have found the one purpose they identify with and live very clearly with the clarity it affords them and gives their life meaning and direction. In the Ramayana, it is the boatman who is at peace with himself and does not seek change. He is with his purpose. So is this constant change more in the lives of women? Do the roles we play change so drastically in life that the focus and the rationale must be redefined more for women than for men?

I must also recognize that I am a seeker and a doer. I like doing things! I like doing things with a purpose. I often don't know what the hell I am doing! And that is the time when I seek this space to have myword. To speak my mind, to let random thoughts find a spot in the physical dimensions of reality and to form patterns and shapes. To change from the shadowy concepts that float as wisps of black smoke rising from the fires of the mind. The trick is to not look at the shadowed forms but to let them guide you back to where they are rising from. And to see what is the source of the fire. To understand what will fire up the imagination at this point in the life.

Note to self: some time we will explore the fire of desire and the usage of time effectively.

But that is for another day. toh bole toh kya bole? Somebody said document the journey of my own life - of what I am doing, of what I am achieving. Maybe. It's a place to start. To use the achievements to find the fire that drove them. That will find the source of the purpose and the passion.

1.1.11 in search of a blog name

Why don't you do some blogging since you spend so much time on the computer... I was told at this change of the year moment! Of course, starting anything new just at the new year is a baaad idea - usually fails, like all good intentions and resolutions made at this moment. But, well, its a new year, and I would be failing the moment if I didn't start something new...

So on advice and recommendation* from the brother&bhabhi, the blogging shall start!

(do note that *'recommendation from brother' is actually an oxymoron... brothers don't gently recommend... they are usually (read always) completely right, and if you doesn't listen to the word of the wise... well, browbeating does start with the word 'bro'!)

It was also recommended that it would better to start a new blog rather than this old 'ambassador' blog
(for those who aren't familiar with the good old indian 'one car for a family and its next 3 generations' concept, the 'ambi' is a v. old idea of a car, stayed around forever, carried all 26 members of the extended family to picnics, passed from grandfather to father to our generation, still stood in our house at d232 def col, till even the kabadi wallah would not touch it!)

So in great earnest I stated looking for a name for the 'new' blog at the 'newest' cool place to blog - wordpress... and as I write this, I am still looking for a name - not for want of ideas, but ALL the ones I have come up with are taken! So original me (not)!!

So through my quest to find a name, we shall journey together. Tried the following till now...
noclue
notquite
livingdalife
subina
methinks

I must say I was a bit surprised when 'livingdalife' was not available, and also 'subina' ... sob! someone stole ma name... mommy!!
There are names which you know will be taken but mine is a concocted name - a mis-spelt form of Sabina, so I am always surprised to find others whose families made the same mistake!

So what else can I call my new blog? What is the point of the blog - that should lead me to a unique name...
..lets see, wordpress recommends we make a stick figure - me, and draw thought bubbles around it to find the reasons for why your blog may exist...
(in the meantime, tried 'whynot' 'sohow' 'iexist' - nope! all taken)

Of course, this paper napkin process of the 'thot bubbles' to attain clarity of thought for the greatest creative writing is meant to be done AFTER the blog has a name and is registered!! So How?? If don't have a name how can write?

hey! 'whyexist' exists!! .. umm, that's not really what I want to call it, I think...

SO that's the story of the life ...

What I want is gone, taken, and what I get is not really what I want.
But I've been told that you always get what you 'actually' want; not what you think you want...

Hmmm... let me 'think' about what I want, while I still continue to search for a blog name!